Fall

As I poured myself a cup of coffee and stared out into the night of morning to watch the lights of Canada flicker across the water, I zoomed in on the funny balnace of seasons I had going on on my own window...here was a pumpkin spice candle glowing warmly, next to my sea shell and rock finds from my summer adventures...
The shift has begun to happen here. The weather is getting cooler, the rain is beginning to fall. Last night I dug out the fuzzy, plastic footed jammies for the ladies to wear. While they played on the floor last night before bed in those said jammies that is when it hit me, its nearly been a year....
Some would say its flow by, while others say its inched. Im not sure, all I know is my life has changed in more ways then one...two to be exact.

Ahh, Mommahood.

Finding my Momma Zen...

Holy Moley its been a month since I last posted! Where has the time gone?!? I've had so many ideas for posts and have started and stopped, started and stopped writing them for reasons that basically come down to life taking over. So today I committed to making at least one post happen.

Finding my Momma Zen happens during the day when its almost like a movie, life is going on around you and you freeze and are sometimes forced take it all in...here are a few of my favorite moments over the past week or so that remind me to breathe and take it all in...

I began this post in the early morning light, with the windows open, the cool air coming in, the coffee brewing, bottles prepped for the morning feed, the fur child settling under the table after coming in from the back yard in hopes that I will possible spill or better yet just give him my bowl of cereal. What he doesn't remember is that every morning when I'm done with my cereal and coffee, and have read a few blogs and gotten energized for my new day in my crazed world of twins mommahood, I set my bowl on the floor like a little oops! And you would of thought I gave him steak. Happens every morning bud, you would think by now you would remember...nope.

These are my mornings, before the craziness begins. Its almost like everything freezes and you take a deep breath in the nose and out the mouth. Now I'm not going to lie, some mornings, I just sit down with my cereal and the ladies begins to get pissy over the monitor. Some mornings the fur child forgets this wonderful routine of him and me having our QUIET mornings and goes a little nuts outside over a crow flying over the yard. But for the most part, I can squeeze if nothing else a few quiet minutes in the morning to watch the fog lift off the water, sipping liquid gold aka coffee.

This past week or two the ladies have become again so different. Kyndel has decided sitting is for babies and has become determined to crawl. While learning to crawl she has also picked up the nac of taking anything apart around her...piece by piece and to only stop if you say her name to then smile sweetly at you, wave and then go back to the task she has given herself.

Thee other little lady in my life is Ms Violet. She has always been the laid back twin of my two little ladies. Times must be changing though, she still seems happy where ever you sit her and play happily with toys around her..but give this lady a wooden spoon and she turns into a drummer. She will tap, pat pat, tap the dishes around her, with a gleam in her eye, a huge grin on her face and little giggles filling the air. This past week their crazy Momma decided to dig out shoes to see how big are their feet getting....

Who knew cute shoes would be all it took to get this little lady to come out of her shell? She hasnt had much interest in crawling, could care less in rolling around outside of her crib, but give a girl a cute pair of shoes and she stands(she MUST take after her Momma!)...and keeps standing when given the chance and you hold her hand. I keep telling myself I should be thankful though that she has no interest in taking any steps...because her sister is the crazy one the move currently. I like that Ms Violet and I can sit on the floor together and watch in amazement while Ms Kyndel rolls, crawls and takes apart anything in her path...now if we can get her to put things back together...

Last, there is the husband...Ive talked about the house, the fur child, the ladies..aww the husband. We have transitioned yet again to where he is working nights. So with this comes all the duties of being a single parent with a teammate coming and going when they can. Although I always seem to break down in the beginning of these transitions and he has to pick me up, dust me off and say you can do it, I would like to think that yes I can do it and a whole lot more. Its during these times when I feel like Im doing, going, thinking, planning beyond my normal bubble of energy. Picture the tazmanian devil and yep that is how I feel most days. But the times we are all here as a family I stop and take a moment to let it sink in how blessed we are and with that feel so recharged to keep going.

Last night is an awesome example of this because normally my husband would be working and he had the evening off. I was in the kitchen working on dinner, fur child laying in the middle of the floor so I have to step over him to get anywhere (again reminding me to drop something), and the husband and ladies where playing in the livingroom on the floor. I could hear Violet giggling and banging away on any surface near her, while Kyndel was inspecting a few low lying framed pictures on the entertainment center (mental noted to move). My husband was giving me the play by play when the ladies would do something different, or sing to what ever toddler song was playing on the TV radio station. He was half way done singing the hokey pokey when he changed his tune to 'come on Kyndel you can do it, come see Daddy'..."there you go you can do it!'....
As I stop what Im doing in the kitchen to peer into the livingroom I hear 'No! dont sit down and chew on the nose sucker!'....awww these are the zen moments only a mother can love....

Ahh, Mommahood.

Nuggets my way...what Im thankful for this last week...

This awesome blog http://www.digthischickmt.com/ weekly posts nuggets.."hump day nuggets: little bits of the season in photos and words about the last week"...so Im going to attempt the same again. Yes I know its Sat. but its Tuesday at my house..for a little while longer. So lets dive in and yes I know there are no pictures, I still have to pull them off of my phone, camera and facebook, yuppers so you are free to imagine :)
(HAA! see considering I have been working on this for days, now there are pics too!).

1. I heart bbqs. I really do when it comes down to it, yep they are a lot of work esp with a couple of families, kids and dogs but I enjoy a full house...this past week we had a handful of bbqs with friends at our house. And I love this time of year. All the doors open, friends standing out on the deck, the warmth of the sun coming in.

I look forward to when the ladies can get into having company over to play with, chat with, just spent time with. Having them out in the backyard playing in the grass or picking me some "flowers" from my flowerbeds.

2. The power of floor time...the ladies love floor time. This week we have stepped it up a notch and seem to be spending as much time on the floor as possible. The ladies are beginning to babble to each other or in the direction of...but I noticed lately they are making eye contact with each other, smiling, waving and now saying Iiiii!

3. Routines....the ladies and I thrive on them. And I dont mean that this has to be set in stone. But they know what naptime is, bathtime, family couch time and I will hope because its been a good run so far...what bedtime is too. Neither lady can really talk yet, but you lay out their pjs and both will smile and begin to cuddle with you. And I kinda miss the cuddling, doesnt seem to happen as much as it use to, unless they are sleepy. But this past week we tried to do a couple family outtings during what would be considered bathtime...although they were happy campers leaving to go where we were headed in their PJs, and they were sleepy as went headed home...once home they were wide awake, like they had a coffee break without either the husband or I looking!

4. Pointing....ever see ET? Well Kyndel this week is all about pointing, we have went from pat pat to point poke...its extremely cute unless your changing her diaper and she is lightly poking you in the arm....buttttt we had our ET moment this morning during the first diaper change of the day, I held out my finger and she met it with her own and smiled with your I have only two teeth grin... and I was making a mental note to bring a camera next time...

they were talking to each other right before I took the pic...I swear!

5. Its all about the gab...yep you know we have twin girls every morning now days. 7am hits and they begin their conversation. Yesterday I went down to get them up and found my husband laying in bed just listening to them...we are not sure what it is they are talking about, but you can reconize words like Momma, Dada, Baba, Ga ga....and Violets favorites Wowwww, whoaaaaaaa... best way to start your day.


So I have to admit, I started this on our Monday (your Fri) and its now our Friday and Im finally ready to move this to posting...gah i tell you days fly here, some are good, some are long, some are loud, hair pulling, and filled with a few tears....but always have love woven in and out of every one....


Oh! and before I forget, I have to add this pic of last night...because you know sharing is caring....

Ms Violet is a master with sharing food with the fur-child...now if she would JUST feed herself I would be thrilled! baby steps...

Happy Friday (Tuesday) Mommas.

Ahh, Mommahood.

Down the Aisle...Happy Husband, Lovely Wife...

Three years ago this week I married the man above. We had already been together three years, I had just resigned from my teaching position I had held for 8 years,wrapped a new teaching cert. that required 15 credits of my time, sold my condo, helped move us into our first house three hours away and brought home an 8 week old fur child. 8 months of planning a wedding was woven into all the maddness as well. Walking hand and hand under sparklers I thought we could do anything, I was full of giggles and smiles at how wonderful the day had been. We were married on a little iland in front of 18 of our closest friends and family. It was perfect....even down to my wedding birks.

My husband gave me a card this past week for our anniversary and it sums up his feelings in a nice simple way, just like his macho front would like everyone to see...I know better.

"Lucky Husband, Lovely Wife, Had a wedding, Built a Life, Chased some Dreams, Caught a few..Here's to Making More come True...."

What is your down the Aisle Moment????





Doesnt look like the button is working above, SO please click below and scoot on over to Mommy of a Monster (multiples momma too!) and see more on Down the Aisle!

http://mommyofamonster.com/2011/08/down-the-aisle-link-up-your-favorite-wedding-photo.html

Ahh, Mommahood.

Our Sundays...

So currently our Sundays here on the homestead would be everyone else's Thursday...So if your reading this and going Sunday what?!? Keep that in mind.

Nothing beats Sunday mornings, everyone is sleeping but me (shocking) and I get to enjoy a few quiet moments with the sun coming up and beginning to shine across the water, a nice hot cup of coffee, our fur child sleeping under the table and oh yea these awesome chocolate covered graham crackers HEHEHE....

I was reading a handful of my favorite blogs when one talked about Nuggets..see here:

http://www.digthischickmt.com/

Every Wednesday evening, yes your Wednesday, she posts a week long detail of what she is thankful for along with pictures. The pictures make me drool with want. I want to take pictures, and I do, but nothing that awesome and of course I have no way of getting the ones I do take off the camera onto the laptop yet unless you use my IPhone and well no.

Sooo I'm thinking I'm going to give it a shot...thankful moments from our week.

1. The ladies are babbling, and some days when its just the three of us plus fur child and they are babbling up a storm...there is a moment where you almost can imagine them talking to each other. And maybe they are, because I'm normally doing dishes when they do this...but I will look over at them, and there they sit or jump, Mamamamama-ing, Bbabababab-ing. Gagagag-ing, Dadadad-ing, Ohhhhhhhh, etc to their Sophies and hope hope hope to each other.

2. Violet rolls! well sorta. She began this week to finally roll from front to back. And I think yesterday if I would of let her she would of then rolled back to front. But she ran into me on the bed and her sister...she gets the biggest eyes when she does this...its almost like Holy crap what did I just do????

3. Kyndel stands!...with a little help..yes another shocking statement, our thrill seeker loves to stand. And I think its the sweetest thing, she waits every morning in her crib playing nicely while I dress her sister. then I will come over and get her...arms raise and I stand her up, she grabs the rail and looks over....I let go and she will stand and giggle up a storm...and I think she would stand there a good while if I let her...a few times though, the thrill seeker in her will let go, then she will fall back to sitting, then fall back to laying...and LAUGH. crazy kid.

4. The fur child seems to love floor time. He will be out discovering what ever he thinks is cool in the backyard, and when I get the ladies all set up in the playroom on the floor. you can hear him rounding the corner of the front deck and in he comes. He then quickly lays down next to their area...and we practice the PAT PAT....no not grab and pull....They love it and giggle giggle giggle...and he stretches out and I know enjoys the attention.

5. The husband fixed the water heater again! woot woot! So we have hot showers again...for the moment. And I now have to listen for a while, to him chant he is wonderful, you are married to a wonderful husband....yep.
I guess I will agree, of course I cannot tell him that :)


So there, my five thankful nuggets for the week.... What are yours??




Be an example...of good deeds of every kind. Let everything you do reflect your love of the truth.
~Titus 2:7TLB

Ahh, Mommahood.

Naptime Hostage...

As I type this, I'm a hostage of nap time. You see months ago I incorporated a nap time with the ladies. Its great because everyday we have downtime for a max of two hours. The three of us curl up on the guest bed and they snooze while I check the net, or sometimes snooze with them. As they've gotten older however, my snoozing has decreased a bit due to them beginning to roll. Don't get me wrong its SO cute to see them rolling on the bed and playing with each other and me. BUT when they finally fade into sleep land, I have a hard time anymore snoozing myself, or anything else that would take me out of the room.

I know, I know, I should take advantage of this down time, and I do, really I do. Me being me though I have a list of at least ten things in my head of what I should be doing while they are asleep and me rest time is very low on the list. I hear you veteran Mommas, I know PUT THEM IN THEIR CRIBS. I got it. For some reason I haven't been able too. Maybe I'm a sucker for a snuggle, maybe I know this time is limited, I just haven't been able to bring myself to conquer the hurdle...

I should, I got it. I admit the newbie mistake. Sooo the headstrong Momma that I am has given myself a goal, they will be napping in their own cribs by the end of the month. YUP. Please hold me to it :)

Ahh, Mommahood.

Crafts, Gifts and a Kid free Field Trip

So the other day the husband decided to take over the kiddos and give me a "Get Out of Jail Card"...which now thinking about it makes me worried because that would be two kid free outings now, so I have to wonder what kind of man day he is wanting. Ohh no, sneaky, very sneaky. Anyways I was free for the afternoon...have you ever tried to leave your house alone before noon? I swear it was like everyone and everything needed my attention as I was trying to get myself out the door in my don't touch kid free clothes.

Once on the road, I talked myself in to lunch (hmmm lunch with some peace and quiet), then off to my first stop. I have this idea that the ladies and I are going to be making the husbands birthday gift this year, YES I can hear the vetern moms laughing now, what is this newbie thinking!?!. I mean, I have kids, and I don't get out much anymore, so why not put them to work? This is my insane reasoning. Moving on my first couple of stops consisted of collecting items for this great kid friendly craft idea I pulled off another mom-blog site....does it work? looks like it from her pictures, however with having the twins instead of just one baby, I may need to call in back up to help. All I know is its going to be messy, and I hope I get some sort of product to give the husband, because if this is successful then I see a lot of these being made by the twins for Christmas gifts! Wanna know what the craft/possible awesome gift I am talking about, here is the link:

http://moderndaymoms.com/pudding-paint/

I will be posting pictures and how it went in the next couple of weeks. The husbands birthday isn't till the end of September, however I am learning that to depend on something going well you should probley have a back up plan. So I plan on having the ladies do this project soon (while we have some warmth outside, cause we are doing this OUTSIDE!) and see how it turns out. That way if it doesn't work, I have time to come up with a plan B.

The remaining part of my day consisted of taking myself into a clothing store. Holy cow it has been a long time since I wandered a store looking at clothing just for myself. I was totally overwhelmed, and after an hour and gathering a small collection of items I made myself leave. It was a dangerous situation to put myself in, I could of stayed there all day...and we do not have the funds to support that.. Seriously it was that fun, I couldn't help but giggle to myself as I found things, then I would look at it with these new eyes...

Thinking, yea they would totally stretch that out, oh puke, crap and pretty much anything they produce would so look awesome on that, crap I cannot go bra-less anymore, whoa is that a shirt or a dress?? either way I wouldn't be able to pick a kid up. I'm sure I was very entertaining to those around me as I giggled and muttered to myself while wandering, touching, ohhhh and ahhhh over things. But this Momma is SO going back, and darn I have things I need to return/exchange...yea I didn't see that coming, noo that wasn't planned at allll :)

As I drove home with my treasures and supplies, the radio off enjoying the silence, I wondered what the state of the house would be in, how the ladies were doing, whether or not the husband had remembered to let the dog out or let him back in... you know the little things..

When I walked in the door, I found however two very excited little ladies in their high chairs babbling away in a language we have yet to learn, a fur child circling around my legs (100 lbs mind you)waiting for me to stop so he could sit down and lean into me, and my wonderful husband aka super Dad, looking proud to show they are all still alive, doing fine, but really happy to have Momma back home..

Ahh, Mommahood.

This wasnt covered in the BABY classes....

Its during times like this since the ladies being in our world that I wonder would there be this much drama if there was only one??? My gut says yep there would be. The life change is still the same, the lifestyle you once knew, the routine, the personal time, the time spent with your spouse, the SLEEP, all changes. I dislike growing changes, esp. when it upsets my family.

The husband and I have been having ups and downs like you would in any marriage. However with babies in the picture, I think the ups and downs are more intense. I being the girl that I am find that as I get older I've grown to be more emotional. Shocking I know, I have wondered though if it has anything to do with my childhood and the lack of crying that I did then. I kept a lot of feelings about things to myself, you had too, it was survival in a sense. But that is a whole another path to discuss.

Once I met my husband and things began to get serious, the wall began to come down.. I became that talker of sorts, I have to talk things out now, I just cannot leave things alone. When I get frustrated esp when my thoughts and feelings are not coming out how I want, the tears come. I become a mess. I'm the pissed off, crying woman that is pacing in the corner, muttering to herself. Where does my husband fit in the mix you ask??? he is the safety net, my security blanket that comes in and wraps up around me and tell me to breathe and that it will be OK, that he's not going anywhere.

OK, so we took those child classes, you know the before you give birth here is a few key things you should know besides breathe and push...and they were helpful (besides making us feel extremely stupid at parts, and showing us that we were the oldest couple there), they gave us an idea to work with during birth, and the newborn stage and beyond...

However they didn't tell you the emotional toll its going to take on you and your loved ones. Maybe they did and we just missed the class. But reality is I don't think either of us were prepared for how it would effect our relationship as a couple. Again another shocking statement I know to those veteran mommas out there. Us newbies had no clue. I'm proud to say we have come together as a team to raising the ladies, I think you have to with twins or I imagine even just one baby. Communicating, breathing, a second to just give a hug or a simple I love You,I think is huge right now. And the husband and I are taking note of that...slowly.

Now though I think we are reaching a point in our marriage where we need the team effort in remembering there was an us before a all of us...baby steps.



Be an example...of good deeds of every kind. Let everything you do reflect your love of the truth.
~Titus 2:7TLB

Ahh, Mommahood.

BBQ+Friends+Children= This Momma needs a Nap!

So yesterday was a long day. It started like everyday does around here, I thee Momma gets up first, showers and is met by the fur child as soon as I step out of the shower. He seems to always be worried that I forgot his breakfast or dinner depending on the time of day. Coffee made, bottles prepped, kitchen cleaned, breakfast made, and yes fur child fed and let out, then its time to get the ladies up...normally one of them is up babbling by this point and can be heard over the tv monitor.

What made yesterday a little different was I added more tasks to my already normally long todo list...prep for bbq. Yep, we were having some dear friends come over and I being me decided to make few things from scratch ahead of time, because I just so love the challenge...which I met by the way, and also cleaned most of the front deck patio furniture too before hand...not that Im tooting my own horn or anything....toot toot :)

So the family came and all was going well, four kiddos, four adults and one fur child. Thankfully my friends son who is 5 decided to attach himself to our fur child, so that was awesome, because my fur kiddo will come get me if something goes wrong. And I think he enjoyed the extra attention, for the most part. Best quote between those two was heard as they were both out in the backyard..."Polar I cannt do that, you have four legs and I only have two"...my friend and I just started laughing and went back to dealing with twins and a 2 year old. Where were the husbands you ask?? either around the snack table, which until I asked him todo something my husband was happy to pull up a chair too (loves my dips :))or they were around the bbq.

This was one of our first bbqs with little kiddos plus ours. I soon realized that actual visiting wasn't going to be happening. To much baby wrangling was going on. To my two little ladies credit, they actually did awesome with having two extra kiddos try and "visit and play" with them. My ladies really tried to play back...i.e touch face and grab anything near. Our old bbq's filled with hanging out and catching up with friends was becoming a bbq with a main course of child chasing, baby wrangling and common words of "dont feed him that, get off that, I changed the last diaper", and so on. By the end of dinner where instead of being relaxed, I felt at the end to really need one of these, and I think my friend and even the husbands did too....

Maybe it also had something to do with the eat your hamburger negations that were going on with the 5 year old, maybe it was the toddler who was trying to test out all the chairs at the table, the fur child who was pacing around and under the table like a shark circling in the water or the ladies who decided tossing their toys to the floor so someone would pick them up was more fun...at any rate we visited the best that we could.

At the end of the night came the donations, you see we are happy to except donations of clothing and toys from family and friends.Which my MIL has taken and run with, but that is a whole different story. Because when you have twins money is tight (unless your a lottery winner..hope hope hope) and buying things in pairs sometimes just cannt happen. So whenever friends call and say we have clothing so and on, we say sure bring them over...We have been very lucky and blessed in all that we have received, and feel very loved.

You would think however we would have learned by now on asking before hand how much are you bring...because at the end of the night, our friends unloaded the car before leaving...her husband came in with a trash bag and box, Im say oh thank you and go ahead and put it over there...then he leaves and comes back with another bag, then another....ummmmm.

Moral of the story, ask amounts! My husband says we will not turn away anything free, but then he doesnt deal with it once the "free" is here...so four trash bags and two boxes now sit looking at me...so does the ladies and fur child....when is naptime again????

Ahh, Mommahood.

You complete us...

So the husband is now back onto day shift, and we are currently enjoying his Sunday..everyone is sleeping..but this Momma. Coffee and a little quiet time was calling, plus a warm shower and a pacing dog looking at me saying where the heck is my breakfast, seems to be the motivation in getting your body out of your nice warm bed. However it also seems that as I travel down the road with this Mommas lifestyle I have learned how to become more of a morning person, and I actually enjoy it. AFTER all thee above has happen.*giggle*

The house seems more at peace with the husband being home in the evenings. The ladies seem happier, the fur child is hanging out with us more instead of pouting he is not loved and trying to beg for food from people that live near us... We go on family walks and have family time on the couch in the evenings after we bath and jammie clad our ladies. However with all this loveliness going on, yesterday I had a melt down. Seems to happen about once a month or when things majorly change around me...there where tears, sobs, clenched fists and even long qiuet pauses..eventually my husband got me to talk it out, he has learned over the years (while rubbing his face and head while I'm talking) that if I get it out, it all out, I will then answer some of my own questions and be more at peace again with all the mambo jumbo going on in my head.

I also had the holy crap moment of realizing that although I have been trying to give myself little opportunities during the day to do things for me (painting, cooking, shower) I wasn't really doing something to relieve stress and let out daily frustration. Because you do have it with parenting, we all know this, plus for my situation I was juggling house, kids, dog, everything on my own during a good portion of the day and over night. I have so much more respect for single parents.


Now what happens when you leave things alone, not deal with them, and in my case keep yourself busy so that the days just get done and then your better half is back on a weekend...it boils over.....eventually. And as it boiled over yet again, and my husband began his chant of it will be OK, we will get through this stage, we are OK, they are OK, you are OK...it hits me like many times before, yes we are OK, this momma just needs to take a moment to get out of her office (the house)on her own, face the frustrations of the day, deal and let them go.

Thank you to my husband yet again, for sitting down, rubbing your face and head while chanting the words that eventually sink into my mind yet again as the reminder I need that everything will be OK.

Ahh, Mommahood.

Define Happy...

I was actually going to post about regret, now I know that you shouldn't live with regret, but for some reason yesterday I had a few thoughts of what if. You all know what I'm talking about, the what if I had done this instead of that. I listen to NPR alot during the day with the ladies, it seems to always be on in the back ground. Yesterday they had a story about how a group of people dropped everything and decided to follow their dream of creating a "off the grid" kind of lifestyle...they totally live off the land, even their housing is made to decompose back into the earth after ten years!

Now I'm not saying I wanted to ever go live like that, but there have been a few moments in my life where I was presented with choices, almost like your standing at the fork in the road of life and you have to choose. Its strange times now down these chosen roads Ive wondered what if I chose the other, where would I be, how would I be, what kind of person would I become. During my senior year in college I had toyed with idea of going into the Peace Corp. talked about it and looked into it a bit. Even got the application a time or too, but never took the plunge.

I told myself my parents would throw a fit, their only daughter is already living in a different state all by herself (at the time) and now she wants to go to a different country for a couple of years??? Then there was a boy, who at the time I thought our relationship would go somewhere, so I chose to look for a teaching assignment closer to Seattle in which he lived...and it didn't work out...live and learn. But that is probably thee only thing I can say I regret, not listening to myself and doing something for myself, just me.

OK, well I guess I did discuss regret. But I wanted to get into what happen this morning over breakfast. The husband and I are sitting eating our cereal and talking about the kids (yes I know you can all relate). Well I guess during the conversation a response wasn't to the degree of perky-ness he wanted. So in true husband fashion he says I just want you to perk up and be happy with your life, you never seem that happy anymore...

I sat there looking at him wondering, WTF? You get this from one comment. So we then get into a heated conversation of hey I had twins 7 months ago, there have been many times I haven't been the happiest lately, all due to freakin hormones and the F**KING roller coaster they take you on after giving birth. I'm happy to say I haven't taken anything, Ive thought about it, but the bad days seem to be not as bad as often as time goes on...until your husband tells you your not happy and need to perk up. Long story short he ended up saying sorry after I had a melt down, and yes I know he really meant it, because..

After calming down and explaining that its not always a perking day, but that doesn't mean someone isn't happy. I love my family, I enjoy my life (I know I didn't say love...) and I'm a work in progress in finding the happy balance of this new title of Momma I have been given. Moral of the story... Don't try and fit a person into your own definition of happy. Because that will just in the end disappoint both of you.

Deep breath, a little more coffee....

Ahh, Mommahood.

Secret Language...

I've been told over and over that as the ladies grow up they will most likely have a twins language that they will only use with each other.
As if a switch turned on they are half way done with our 7th month and beginning to babble away. Most of the time they each seem to have their moment to babble alone, while their sister, parents and puppy listen in interest. During dinner time, the husband and I will have finsihed eating, which is normally the time both ladies will begin to babble together. Almost like they are talking to each other...however most of the time they are looking at the ceiling, window, floor, puppy, their hand...

My most favorite time is listening to them in the morning..The ladies babbling over the monitor, with me upstairs sitting at the time, doing a few last minute morning chores or getting a few sanity momma alone minutes with the heavenly coffee:) I bet their are saying something like "Momma we know you are upstairs drinking coffee and typing to your friends on facebook.. you need to get us up and dressed now."

Im already thinking 15 more minutes...ok, 20 more minutes :)


Ah Mommahood

Just Because...

Starting my weekend by introducing my ladies...



Here is the before, a long 39 weeks and two days...



And the after, meet my two ladies, Ms. Ky and Ms. Vi, 7 1/2 months old....



Yep I guess I will keep them, and maybe the gray hair that is beginning to come due to them too :)

Are we there yet?????

This is what it seems like most days now as my husbands work schedule winds down/up for shift change i.e. going from nights to days. It has been a long two months of having him working nights and this momma being it, numeral uno for the adult part of the house during the evenings, overnight and part of the morning....yea fun times being out numbered by the ladies and fur child. But to his credit there are many mornings my husband after going to bed about 4am, would then get up, help me get the ladies upstairs and even sometimes help feed them their first bottle of the day, then even have breakfast with me. Have you ever seen two sleep deprived people eat and talk in the morning??? Entertaining let me tell you.

So as we get close to having Dad back around the house, the next few days in getting there are going to suck ass! yep no two ways about it. We are facing a very long weekend that is backed to the beginning of day shift and has no real day off in between. Which means zombie dad and momma continues..... I just want to scream are we there yet?!??! I would like to get the ball rolling on having the husband "dad" being home in the evenings again. Because the good thing is HE IS HOME AT NIGHT, I have my teammate again in dealing with late night binkie whines, screams of why is she changing my diaper and what the hell is going on in my face, why does it hurt???

Which is all awesome to have my better half to tag 'your it' for things. But the down side is having to adjust to having him back...we have our routine, the way we do things, and now we have to factor another person back in. Its funny, when it was just the fur child and I and my husband would shift change, it took us a few days to get use to having him back. Not sure why it always seems like you have to adjust to having him back, but you do. Its like your re-introducing yourself to this person who has knows you better than anyone else. And since having kids with, he is the one who has seen and helped you with things no one else would have...esp while pregnant and I was unable to see feet, legs, left or right side of my body.

So I'm gearing up for this last push to get my little family of five back together...not sure how cheerful I will be come Monday (thankfully I have beer in the fridge to help) and the husband is officially back to working during the day, but I know my home will feel more complete.


ahh mommahood

Its 5 o clock somewhere...

Before having kids did you ever say I will not be one of those Mommas??
In my momma induced brain, I believe I have a time or two...boy was I stupid. Now granted I didn't know any better, I mean how can you until you have completed nine months of the most oddest, coolest, sometimes uncomfortable and hellish experience known as pregnancy and be given one or in my case two screaming but cute babies that you can take home.

It has gotten easier since the ladies have been home. I don't know if it helps that as each month goes by my husband and I get a little wiser and don't look like total dumb asses now in public...but I can admit here and only here, there are points in this crazy parenting thing thus far that seem to get a tad easier as the ladies grow up (why do I have a feeling Im being a dumb ass again?). I personally do not miss the newborn phase, only because feeding two every two hours and they were not together meant every hour feeding...and you were having to feed a bobble headed baby.

One major lesson I have learned so far, is when your by yourself and need a moment to regroup, esp now that the ladies are teething....having a beer isn't the worse choice to make. So Ive become one of those Mommas. YEP. I have one beer on the nights I'm alone with the ladies...seems to always fall into the time of the feeding right before the baths and bed. And boy does it help get me over the hump and into the right frame of mind to get the day done. We all seem more relaxed. Happy Momma = Happy Kids.

Ahh Mommahood :)

Mommas Unite...

Now maybe its because I was able to get a solid 6-7 hours of sleep (thank you amazing husband, I knew I married you for a reason) or possibly its because I am having fabulous chocolate chip cookies with my coffee this morning...but I have been amazed twice this week in how Mommas come together when one of us needs the support.

I belong to a insanely addicting online mom group...I'm online as much as possible while dealing with daily duties of keeping up a house, husband, fur child, and oh yeah raising the twin ladies who are currently 7 months old. The online group is so addicting, there are times I wish I could do no more then stay online with them all day/night. So as a compromise, I have the laptop on all day with the group page open, and when I walk by it, I check, post, comment, read, cry, shake my head, smile, but mostly laugh out loud. I have become so close to these women, I find myself to be more honest and open with them than I have with some of my friends I see in person.


I'm also lucky to have found via a friend who lives on the east coast, a momma group that has members of mommas from all over my area and or who have lived in the area. I got a crazy idea one night that I wanted to send out an email to the group asking if any of them would want to meet on a weekly basis and start walking with the goal to eventually jog...now I have had that idea in my head for a good month, and it was just sitting there looking at me, saying get off your lazy scared ass and post me, you will never know what will happen if you don't try. Soooo I did, and I was extremely nervous afterwards to the point of wanting to hid in the closet with clothes on my head so no one would see me...however my children didn't understand why their Momma was looking at the closet with new interest...

I received about 6-8 emails back so far from fellow Mommas in the area. All agreeing with me that we should get together to push and support one another in improving our health. So now I have the task of picking our first day to meet and where....I'm still in awe at the excitement they all have. Mommas on the Move is born :)

These two recent examples of Mommas uniting have made me love even more the sisterhood I have become apart of and this title of Momma I now own...

ahh Mommahood.

Ahh Summer mornings....

Have you finally discovered us here in the Olympic Peninsula????

I truly enjoy my early morning alone time where I can sit here at my dining table and watch the sun begin to shine in the windows and across the water...such an awesome site and good way to start the morning. All while enjoying my cereal and cup a coffee. However..............having to chug ones coffee because she hears her babies waking, gets up to fast to check on them and in the process has her coffee almost come out her nose...not a pretty site.

Ahh MommaHood :)

Monsters...

I think every Momma can say at some point whether its during the day, week, month of even few minutes, she reaches her limit. She needs a time out.
Well I think today has been my day. Seems like I cannot shake the annoying monster that brings me down from time to time, that stresses me out, that causes me to want to argue with my husband just because I know he will want to fit it and can't...
There are no quick fixes, just deep breathes and listening to your inner voice that says you will get through this again, nothing is in stone. The ladies need you to put on a smile no matter how tired and burnt out you are. Your a Momma enough said.