Its during times like this since the ladies being in our world that I wonder would there be this much drama if there was only one??? My gut says yep there would be. The life change is still the same, the lifestyle you once knew, the routine, the personal time, the time spent with your spouse, the SLEEP, all changes. I dislike growing changes, esp. when it upsets my family.
The husband and I have been having ups and downs like you would in any marriage. However with babies in the picture, I think the ups and downs are more intense. I being the girl that I am find that as I get older I've grown to be more emotional. Shocking I know, I have wondered though if it has anything to do with my childhood and the lack of crying that I did then. I kept a lot of feelings about things to myself, you had too, it was survival in a sense. But that is a whole another path to discuss.
Once I met my husband and things began to get serious, the wall began to come down.. I became that talker of sorts, I have to talk things out now, I just cannot leave things alone. When I get frustrated esp when my thoughts and feelings are not coming out how I want, the tears come. I become a mess. I'm the pissed off, crying woman that is pacing in the corner, muttering to herself. Where does my husband fit in the mix you ask??? he is the safety net, my security blanket that comes in and wraps up around me and tell me to breathe and that it will be OK, that he's not going anywhere.
OK, so we took those child classes, you know the before you give birth here is a few key things you should know besides breathe and push...and they were helpful (besides making us feel extremely stupid at parts, and showing us that we were the oldest couple there), they gave us an idea to work with during birth, and the newborn stage and beyond...
However they didn't tell you the emotional toll its going to take on you and your loved ones. Maybe they did and we just missed the class. But reality is I don't think either of us were prepared for how it would effect our relationship as a couple. Again another shocking statement I know to those veteran mommas out there. Us newbies had no clue. I'm proud to say we have come together as a team to raising the ladies, I think you have to with twins or I imagine even just one baby. Communicating, breathing, a second to just give a hug or a simple I love You,I think is huge right now. And the husband and I are taking note of that...slowly.
Now though I think we are reaching a point in our marriage where we need the team effort in remembering there was an us before a all of us...baby steps.
Be an example...of good deeds of every kind. Let everything you do reflect your love of the truth.
~Titus 2:7TLB
It's true, no one ever tells you that your relationship with your SO will be completely messed up for basically the first year of your babies life. All they talk about is the sleepless nights and the milestones and telling you how to do or not to do something. No one ever mentions "oh hey, by the way your marriage (relationship) is going to be tested a TON"...my DH and i were engaged only a month when we found out we were expecting my now 3yo DS and even though I was pressured to, i did NOT rush to the alter because I knew things were going to get ugly. We struggled enough in the pregnancy, let alone when he was actually born. Looking back on it now, i'm SO glad we didnt rush to get married because I'm pretty sure we would be divorced by now and I wouldn't have my other lil cup cake. I'm blessed with a man that stood by me like yours does. I'm glad you guys are learning the ropes together and I'm so happy that you are part of the Mommy Family with me. =)
ReplyDelete